Wednesday, July 13, 2005

A Full Set of Tires

Ok. The girdle story. Because the begging must stop.

So. You know how a tire has that balloon thingy inside of it, and then its surrounded by the thick rubber tread that offers not only traction but protects the balloon thingy?

Well. Imagine my ass is the balloon thingy and the girdle is the tread.

(Go ahead, imagine it. I dare you.)

Have you ever seen a tire on its very last breath? Where the tread has completely run thin and the balloon thingy is bulging out? I have. Both on my 1980 Chevette and my ass.

Its not ever, ever (seriously - ever) a good thing. This happened to me this weekend. Apparently my er, tire tread suffered a blow out. Right down the center which any tread wearer knows - rarely stays in the center. And I was unaware. Completely friggin clueless.

There were no telling signs. No cool breezes, no sound alerts no swerving as it went out and careening into a tree or ditch. Nuthin. Until I got home, did I quick turn about in the mirror and noticed "balloon thingy" bulging out of the "tread".

Oh crap. &*#%@

I was wearing a fitted skirt for gawds sake. It looked like I was packing a pistol back there. Which is really what I'm hoping people think. Better for them to think I'm confused about where to carry my firearms than the cold, bitter, hard truth.

Tire balloon thingy blowout.

So see. Now you have made me scare the boys who may or may not be reading my blog. And I'm betting you are sorry you asked too.

But you did.

Knitting news (like my not so subtle subject change there?).... just started the Plaited Poncho from the last issue of KR. Using Wool Ease and I think I just might have gauge. I'm annoyed that I have to go buy another circular needle in the same size - the pattern calls for a 24' and a humongous length. May try fitting all those stitches just to save myself the $10.

Yes, I am that broke.

I'm also working on a pattern for opera length arm warmers with a thumb gusset (similar hopefully to Fluffa's). I frogged the first pattern - but think I may have finally figured out the measurements. Using a Michaels smooshy yarn that Danielle gave me (she was my SP4 pal! - thanks chickie). When I can honestly say that its starting to look like a arm warmer and not a sock puppet - I'll send ya the pattern Mrs Donni!

I also joined another KAL. Its for the Knitty gloves "Cigar" and being sponsored by Lisab. Come on - join it. The yarn only costs about $6 at Knitpicks - and you might even have something on hand (no pun intended) that would work! Plus - what great gifts for the boys.

Gotta run! Have a great week! :)


At 3:27 PM, Blogger Yarngirl said...

ROFLMAO!!! You are a very gifted, descriptive writer. I AM sorry that happened to you, don't get me wrong, but that is a very funny story!

At 5:58 PM, Blogger LisaB said...

OH, you were packing, that is a very funny story. But very unfortunate too. I hate it when I get home and realize something is out of place that I never noticed. :)

At 4:03 AM, Blogger Katie said...

Oh, I'm sorry that happened, but it IS pretty funny...and did you ever see "Steel Magnolias"? There's a scene with a woman dancing at a wedding, her hips all over the dance floor, and Olympia Dukakis's character says she looks like "two pigs fighting under a blanket". And Dolly Parton's character replies that she hasn't left the house without Lycra on her thighs since she was 14. To which O.D. says, "well, you were raised right!" Hee.

At 11:47 AM, Blogger Kathy said...

Oh, my. That story was worth begging for! Thank you for sharing.

At 7:22 PM, Blogger Donni said...

FUN-NEEE! Glad you shared - I shared about male Ailsa...I'm reckoning we may be onto something about posting embarrassing stories...what size circular do you need???? Let me know and I may be able to sort you out there. DID YOU SEE MY SOCKS? (Note plural).

At 1:38 PM, Blogger Christine said...

Hello Sunshine,
I would just like to pass along some prayers and good thoughts for you and your family.

At 9:30 AM, Blogger Liz said...

Heh! Ouch. Better than a diaper blowout on a child, though!


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