Tuesday, December 06, 2005

And the award for most stupid....

....ever.... goes to....


My Mother gave me these Avon samples. Ok, so I stole them out of her Avon bag. Whatever.

I'm a sucker for samples of anything and these were in these cute little bottles, all the more special. So into my purse went 2 lotions - one in Vanilla and one in Peach. I love lotions and creams, always looking for new stuff. Or for that one magic brand that will take 20 years off my face!

That night I slathered the Vanilla on my arms and legs. Later I even used some more on my hands. Had a really strong scent and I thought it was kind of wierd that it left a glisten on my skin. Didnt give it much thought though. Maybe the glisten was just temporary while it soaked in.

Next morning I get ready to hop in the shower and there is a rash on my arms and legs. What the hell? Stupid lotion. I'm pissy and itchy and a really lovely shade of red is making my pale arms/legs all the more attractive. Not.

I call my Mom to warn her. This lotion is toxic, man. Don't use it. I'm a mess.

Mom says "Roxanne, those bottles were not lotion. Those were free samples of SHOWER GEL".

And..... it said so on the friggin bottle.


And you know whats worse? This is actually not my most stupid moment EVER!

Your turn.... go on.... I dare you. Whats your most stupid moment?


At 1:54 PM, Blogger Heather said...

Now that is funny!! LOL

Mine is priceless. It was my first time cooking dinner for my in-law's. I'm nervous, worried about everything. So, I'm in the kitchen using my mixer to mash the sweet potatoes for a casserole. But the damn plug keeps falling out of the wall. So, I'd shut the miser off, put the mixer down and plug it back in. Well, after 5 or so times of this, I'm pissed. I put the mixer down (you'll notice here what step I've missed) and jammed the plug back in the wall. All of a sudden, sweet potato is flying all over the kitchen, it's all over my face, in my hair and on the ceiling. There is 15 seconds of stunned silence when I'm trying to decide if I'm going to laugh or cry. And his family loses is. Not just laughing, we are talking hysterical laughter to the point I thought my father-in-law would keel over. I must have picked sweet potato from all over that kitchen for months.

And they all still laugh about it.

At 2:02 PM, Anonymous Donyale said...

Hmmmm, I thought you were going to say it was self tanning lotion or something Rox. I, of course, have done nothing stupid in my life (not true but I am thinking hard ok), but recently Steve asked me to buy him some more hair gel (don't want to know why he uses it instead of clay, wax, mud etc)...and I thought that was strange cause there was quite a bit left. When I checked with him he went and got the almost empty tube of "Aloe Vera AFTER SUN Gel" that he had been using for a couple of months. Funny thing I had been saying a few times "Have you done something with your hair" cause it looked a little weird. :)

Don't despair - I have just thought of something that I did. I'll add another post!

At 2:06 PM, Anonymous Donyale said...

I used to teach Skiing in Austria a couple of years back. My first season was not my most fluent (ie nil German). I had a little group of kiddies to teach and we were waiting at the bus stop and one little cutie had a huge long ski hat - one that hung down to his bottom. He put is Ski Helmut on over the top of his hat and I yelled out to him (in the equivalent of very broken but very understandable German) (in front of a packed busstop), to "watch out cause his "dick" was hanging out (same word as "tail" - slightly different inflection).

V. embarrassing.

At 8:22 PM, Blogger Christine said...

So, Rox, you were right, and my stupid moment of the year was to not listen to you and become a hostess for SP...oh yeah, I thought I could handle it...yep I did. Tough little cookie I am...well that was before I realized it fell in the worst month of every year!!!! I am stupid and I bow down to your superiority!

PS...I hope you are not mad at me ;)

At 5:19 AM, Blogger G Sharona said...

Ok,this is a little gross but..Usually I would never drink after anybody including my Hubbie R.It was very hot outside and he just pulled up in the driveway from work.I was really needing the truck to got the store for dog food.I hopped in the truck and saw he had a can of Diet 7UP(My fav drink) sitting in the holder..ummm I thought I need a sip....EWWWWW..was more like it.He had used it to put out his cigarette.Gag,gag,spit and throw up.Needless to say I will never make that mistake again.

At 6:20 AM, Blogger Jade said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 6:22 AM, Blogger Jade said...

Poor, poor Rox - are you still red?

Ok, probably not my stupidest moment but there were so very many to choose from. When I was little my mom was not the best of housekeepers - dishes in particular tended to pile up. I was messing around in the kitchen and leaned up agains one of the cabinets (which was about shoulder height to me at the time). And doing the odd things that kids do, I tilted my head back to peer up at the ceiling, totally unaware that I had just dunked my hair in a pan of grease left over from frying chicken. In fact it had soaked all the way to my scalp before I noticed it. When I did notice, I walked across the house (yep, dripping as I went) to show mom how I'd messed up my hair.

Now - here's the really odd part about this story. My mom has no memory of this - none at all. And I can tell you what it smelled and felt like. She insists that I must have dreamt it - swearing she'd remember such a mess.


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